January 24, 2010

This is an example of a day where one little thing sends me into a glass case of emotion. I just need someone to coddle me like a baby, is that too much to ask?!

The accident, my stupidity, the lack of knowing if I will be employed in two weeks is all sending me down a spiral of angst and madness in my head. I don't know what could make me feel better at this point, maybe a mental health day?

See, in college, when I would take a mental health day, it was usually because I was too hung over to function or just plain old lazy. Now I kind of understand the thought behind such a "day." I get it, I truly do...for I have driven myself to the point of needing one. But, then, if I take one, I will have this extreme feeling of guilt over missing a day of work that it will actual cancel out the whole concept of being a "mental health day." (Don't you wish you were inside of my head).

I need to pull myself out of this dark place and just work on positivity towards the future like working on my resume, job hunting, and finally, getting my ass out of dodge and towards New York City. I despise feeling like I can't pull myself out of something.

I need sanity, I need productivity, I need to be coddled...